Prophet Speak ( not to be confused with those who say Prophet and mean Profit)

     How many times can a heart break...  seems endless in the horrors of this life around me.  

The news of the world brought into view daily

showing up on democracy now and al jazeera 

And a few other places as the journalists

line up to keep their jobs'

 by supporting the unimaginable horrors

being inflicted on the people in Gaza.

The bloody land grab 

Israel was warned three times and moved the party

a few hours before the attack to an area near Gaza.

Nettyahoo would consider their sacrifice a good false flag

their 9-11 he kept saying...

and I thought, yeah, the 19 saudi's 

who supposedly knocked down three buildings

One they did not even have to hit...

wh ih led to thugs across the countries we colonized who would sell us that oil...

but don't question that story or you get labelled...

I will always be more than anything you can word you can apply

I offer you the same grace at times

at my best  to remember I speak to a vague moment of you.

Trying to think here

in a rambling poem I know people will read because

you tell me I am this filmed star

and even watched me in my bedroom....

I do not understand you people.

I can take heart in knowing there is something after this body

and there I will be free

back with my 'father'

I religiously believe I am here

to help the souls who will suffer

through the slow decline

of societies...  those who will prepare

out of necessity and you can bet way too late

or too elite for but the chosen few.

Facing death is a speciality of mine. 

Just always am ready though only God decides when release is offered,

when I am no longer needed for whatever it is I am doing...

the not exactly ever changing the plan.  the ignorant reacting as I have been taught to act.

I have went thru so many permutations to get to my present state of mine, 

And trust nothing, not in a world that seems prone toward exploding into violence

over some words I never meant as...

Is God still speaking when i think of myself as nothing

to you thru my actions....  part of why the religious watch me.

I do not like that idea

prefer to think my words communicate all that matters

used to think the blog mattered,

my life an entirely different matter.

I bore you...  you bore me ...   

I am

a shapeless wisp of of consciousness,

 which I have twice felt myself

 leave my body

 after a year of practice

with an astral projection book...

 Then I let it go, drugs and women, directionless,

 a kid driven half mad by being alone in a room for a year

, in love with a woman at least, for my first time... 

 an amazing wonder...  I forget what a gift Lynette Smith was to my life.  We dated just a few times before my back surgery...  then she was there for me. Amazing how many books I read night and day, information overloading a brain in constant need of escape from pain, and only reading could sometimes distract me with enough medication.  I tend to remember only the horror of time periods, part of why I not like reminiscing.  I do not relive the emotions of those movements, I mourn those times, as ill spent in many ways...  growing up in a trashed house...  it was sickening.   Then a teen in Bowling Green.  She was my second girlfriend, though I broke up with the other.  I am not sure why, but I wanted out.  When I did, she took my virginity to keep me, though I just was no longer in love with her.

Lynette came along after that, I was doing a lot of drugs, acid the day we had our first day, early that morning, not the best stuff...  mostly worn off.  We were going roller skating, so innocent.  Just before the back.  Nice time.  Afterwards we made love while I still had a body caste, I think.  What a strange time.  I spend most of my memory time in the Before All This Jesus business began, criticizing myself for things I wish I had said forty some years ago...  women I wish I had stayed with, like that would have worked out...  

I missed some great ones because of Barbara.  She was worth the trouble, I figured at the time...  though others had plans for me, knew things about me that all powers were told of, a child growing wings, an angel on earth...  

 Or Christ, as the Catholic Church .  A kid grew wings, and they cut them out, then used a years worth of chemotherapy to keep them from growing back.  My dreams of driving and flying only half came true.  I cannot verify any of this though I seem to have powerful believers, and powers I cannot explain away as less than control over the weather, and knowing the future, though I had no idea at the time, I was this thing, who would draw a circle in the sand and says bodies are going to pile up around me if you attack me.  And then due to the brain washing and my ignorance -- primarily, of how and why I would have such influence... let alone what was being done with my words.   I had no idea why someone would do that.  I could not believe it related to me....   that was beyond my belief.

I prefer to see the dead as specters joining with my ancestors.  Though I do not mean to cop out on the pain and the loss and the regret.  I had no idea my words were going to come, or this fire telling me I was Jesus.  I believed this all the time until I was jailed.  I asked my father how he could do this to me,  keep ,u medication from me  as the pain kept me from sleeping more than twenty minutes at a time, a shitty few days...  I took it though.  Made me at least know I could live through the worst.

I can never stop thinking of the dead and all I owe them

various threats to citizen control are in place.

watching with the others recently dead 

 beyond the holds of the bodies madnesses

all wants granted to the level that the concept is no longer there

We are one power humans

maybe souls traveling together

despite the madness of this planet

 something is going to happen when these bodies die

and the wisp of nothingness if free to fly...

I cannot promise I know what comes

when the brains and heart and lungs go still

though I have had many visions of what has been

only a few about what is to come in the afterlife,

as much subconscious projections of my own as metaphor,

I think...  not knowing if there is anything there worth mentally picking over

or not

I can tell you the visions of a man who has seen miracles

enough to know a God beyond understanding.

I was filled with his fire when you let me know where I stood.

When I began fighting in some damn war to save my people

the citizens of this country, and others as well,

from falling into the hell of war..

Kept from by God's plan of peace...  if there is one.

The revolution of a romantic written out of hatred of a nation

that seemed to be attacking me.

Used to write I lived behind enemy lines, in a hostile country...

One War was written long before the revolution.

I know in the beginnings of this some took my book

that did not seem to be selling at all to me

 and used this as a way to war

when I was criticizing that kind of war all to Hell.

What I wrote One War about and what it became

the web

and the protected feed to the angel

just get this cable and wear purple and get a dog...

when the bubble burst I found out people were getting dogs

and thinking I was some Holy  Man

and enforcing this on others.

I then became the monster I was fighting

I did not think I had these things in me

I felt compelled and I do not know why

A few years passing now

I have a hard time relating with the person I become when I am at war..

I 

I found out one thing about dogs to know this was something

we did not have in common.

Not really my business as long as they leave 

those who feel differently as equal

honor their decision to decide their own fate.

I would be delighted to sit at a table with people

from all over the world with all kinds of differing opinions.

Meet as people and have a rule that NO POLITICS are discussed.

That would be the name of the gathering.

People to people gatherings of the leaders of the world.

No cameras or recording, if possible...  

Or a who cares, as they discuss their children, their parents

sports, books, whatever topics they have in common.

I have always felt disposable to the cause

This is why I seemingly risked my life so many times

You have only the slightest clue

What coming for me would mean

The Heavens Themselves Would Attack You.

Lightening in a flood too thick to distinguish one from another

the ground below crisped into nothing...

Fire from long dead volcanos erupting

flowing into the cities and lighting up the countryside

lives destroyed in an act of mercy

killing a sick one dying to keep them from feeling

more pain. 

 .