r u going to try to make me the scapegoat again?

      Will not work.  I do not think?  You enemies of God always think you will win.  Enemies of empathy.

       I read the message from Musk, where he talked of my dirty apartment, told me to go play with my pig friends in the mud.  I could not believe I had enemies when this started, though I guess I had expected and did not mind.

Now, the hatred for me that may come from rejecting racism, and other isms...  people are what they are and no human law is going to make God's creations not appear.  Gay people or anything a lot of people have phobias about make going along with bullying an 'objectified' gay person, black person, etc...   

None of these views of mine are radical enough for many, and called radical ...  by no one at this point.

I see now that tv has shown green as the winning color.  I remember the one time I saw you using someone to represent me and they were this conservative nazi guy.  I was stunned that I was viewed that way, but I had no idea a group of people were attempting to take my words to live by....  when I pretty much was pissed and depressed as hell that the television was suddenly a part of my life.  A prison guard, standing in the corner of my bare cell, bright white, fluorescent lights above us 24 hours a day.  Cold.  Often taunting me.  I remember years ago when smoking weed caused the voice of Jesus to rise in me, make declarative statements.  What I criticize though, I do not want hurt.  I am trying to help avoid problems.

Now, I had to give up power.  I was not trying to use Orange as a color that would become anything;  I cannot even imagine thinking to say what I did once about sixty forty and I have not seen the face or heard the name or had any dealings with people who did.  I was not trying to take over and run some criminal enterprise.  They exist and it is not my job to stop them.  I do not know how you operate?  

I do not identify with much of a culture.  I have lived apart, in artistic, or academic circles of friends, a few from when I was young.  Man, now dead.

I do not know now what you are planning.  I am at least not the focus of everything, as once seemed the case.  Is this bad?   Less for me to worry about.  The BLINK commercials with the red headed woman, and all the red heads you started showing me.  I take this for Irish.  Green everywhere.  u2 does a month in Vegas.

I used to feel all alone with God.  Emotionally I read the other day about people who do not consider another's feelings.  I have been like this for so many years.  At first not understanding why you would give a damn what I think, and that you did not.   I had no clue at the time, that on Estes, which was the last time I talked all the time to the tv, until now.   I thought I was just a victim of some fucked up conspiracy I had no way of figuring out?

I have powers.  I am a weapon, of some sort or another.  I have to live with people dying on my orders, good people... to get at bad people.  Or people who had used others, often in my name.  I believed this horror was over by the time we lived in this apartment.   Only getting the podium and painting.  MSNBC's Joe asking me if I am gray or purple?   Then Me Tv appears with a show out and out asking me questions, in a way.  I don't understand it too well.  They again make out like I am a mobster, a lobster...  Like I have said too many times, my association with them is not of my choosing.  I am tired of blaming anyone other than myself now.  Now I deserve this.  Before you brainwashed me and all this shit that drove me insane.  I have to take responsibility for what I have done, though it was not usually conscious.  

I do feel like I am freer at this point, though I also see you are showing me an insurance commercial that says something about making me the scapegoat.  I suppose enough of you hate me at this point, this is probably the only thing you can agree on.  I feel like I let you down.  I feel like I missed out on every opportunity in my life, and that they would not have mattered anyways, because I was always headed toward this.

Maybe a kid in the middle of Indiana was found to be growing wings?  If that is so...  I would be reassured if you are moral.  I would learn the fear of God now, before I must teach you why this is essential to wisdom.   A person who lives without fear of the unknown is a fool.  Astral project a few times, your soul traveling around without your body.  On my list of things that tell me the supernatural is real.

I just wish womyn would learn I am their ally to the end.  Same with anyone who is being bullied in this world...  de-escalate, and find bounty.  Escalate and starve.