Doomers On the Catholic's Path to Hope

After I spent the week talking to doomers on line, and writing about how climate change will wipe us out in the end.   The Pope in all but name, the human with a direct line to me.  (I offered this once for my freedom.  Later, when my fate became secondary to far too many for me to count...).  Now, awhile back, and now perhaps, the Cardinal, in a mass seen by the disabled, started when I began having effects...  he came out after my week of examining this perspective in the young, the Cardinal walked out and before doing anything said, in a voice like 'what am I supposed to do with this?'  He said, "The end of the world." 

I made clear this meant religions were going to have to give people hope when the Climate offers none. This was RIGHT BEFORE the Rome Pope (who is blessed as all Popes who seek the mysterious will of God, rather than merely accept what has come before;  they are to be given messages of great change, without having to crucify anyone) launched  the campaign Pilgrimage For Hope...  

When I came away from the Doomer community on line, I realized the depth of their need.   My past experiences with how such people can be taken in by cults...  hopeless people find it, in the changes that happen to their brain when they are inducted.  Easy to show the math on this, but no one wants to admit they are deluded, so they made deprogramming outlawed.  Cults give a lot of money to Republicans to protect them.

When in the depth of my thoughts, where a savior dwells, I know that souls are being saved even now.  That my actions are finally able to be in tune with who I usually was in my life.  I admit my sins from the past.  Feel the pain as floods of memories inexplicably flash up.  I get rid of them with the Buddhist technique, bury them as deep as I can.  Like I do with lust now that I am de-objectifying women as much as possible.  I always said a man should not lead the women, when asked.  Can I help?  I hope so, because like others, I will always be on their side.   However, I will fight tactics.

I was thinking today and for many others what should I do....  my mind, in a totally new phenomena, cannot imagine violence... if a thought moves that way when I am thinking of stories... or anything.  My mind recoils and I think this is a sign from God, one that means something to me alone, is fine.  His work is obvious to you when I point it out, like I recently did.  I do not remember all I told you but that is part of how God works...  new information pushes out the old.

Moses was told if he held his arms up, the Jews would win on the battlefield.  When he would get tired, they would lose.  So finally they sat him down and held up his arms.    When I heard the good Cardinal give this obscure, and somewhat non-sensical except in a time long ago, when there was war all the time, and to win avoided being sold into slavery, or worse.  A prayer for hope.  Now it sounds silly.  They held up his hands, or the Jews would have lost in a war.

Do you need me to stay in this war...  well, I was born into war and will die in war.  Somewhere grunts are forced to fight because of the hoarding of wealth of a few powerful, untouchable men...  and now one Untouchable President.  Voters may be able to change this.

Moving on from there...  I used to be such a conspiracy theorist on facebook.  I went out there, Jon Stewart mentioned it.  He knew what was going on and I did not.  Kept ignorant.  Still...  what am I to say...  I did not know orange would be racist or I would have had nothing to do with them.  I feel betrayed, but nothing like blacks would have.  They tricked you at least three times into thinking I am going along with horrifying acts against blacks, because I saw one once that I did not believe could happen...  I was trying to scare off this weird force that was on my tv, the streets, etc...

When no one seemed to want to talk to me...  or they would have at first, and I rejected them out of being in shock.  I was walking around with the dog making speeches or anger and shit.  I look at it now and think, That is not who I am....  the crazy person they were all trying to use.  The spies.  I am not here to do the bidding of anyone except God.  My mission is winning as long as I am alive.  I told you once that dead I was more powerful, leading James to subtly suggest I should die and be more powerful.  Right during the period when the CIA or someone wanted the same, so you could bury your sins in my coffin, and write your innocence into my public biography.

The pieces of the puzzle do not involve violence.  Though this hard hearted place I can go, knows I would fight instantly to defend.  I will instigate nothing.  Know nothing I am, this is safest.  I just no longer believe you need me.  Though I cannot risk that.

I am sorry I insulted all of you who I have.  I was the one who was wrong so often when I spewed out my anger on them.  God forgive me I scream again in my thoughts.    

The End Is Near

       I saw, the day Trump was elected, a meme mocking something I had written about;  it said that I had been undercover for forty years... I had said, and then later told them was a fucking metaphor, not to be taken literally....   that I was underground, destroying bad guys.  Well, fuck no. They were often great people, but I could not know.

When I think of this now I see how I was used.   I also see that I am ready to take on whatever, with your help.  You know who you are.  Guardians.  The Children of God.  Peacemakers.  Fighters of wars of justice.  Not the false righteousness of the zealots.  No religion wants you to kill.   Religious beliefs may require this at times... or the morality gained there, that require one to act, even if it endangers you, at times.   RELIGION IS A PLEA FOR PEACE. 

I DO NOT KNOW WHAT IS being asked of me.  I will stand up and help you if you need me.  Always.  I saw the black woman who had a nose like Nina Simone s and she said she had been ashamed, but when I said Ms. Simone was the most beautiful woman I had seen... they showed her from the side, with glasses on.  These things were a greatness.  Bringing people together.  I was always surprised anyone cared about my opinion, and I am humbled.  Absolutely humbled.  I would wash your feet.  

I have caused too much pain in this world to be forgiven.  Bane is once again the opponent of Batman.  Bane who I barely remember, actually.  I do remember thinking you had sinned.  I was still very religious during this, in a strange way.  Now I feel a resolute questioning of what God wants me to do... though I am a willing servant, I have learned these last four years to Fear God.  This I had never considered before;  now I know how fearsome my God can be.  

I am grateful that the television seems to be leaving me alone, mostly.  I am still questioning if watching a show harms them, or is not noticed now.... perhaps Trump has cut this off?  Is that possible?  No, that is not going to totally happen... or it has already... I would love to know, that is for sure, though to hope for something like that to happen is a bit much.

 I am a guy who found he had walked through a mirror into Wonderland, only this one is war torn.  A place where I see all the time the cool guy who hung out at the park a lot in the summer.  He came to me one day just after this started, and said he did not want to die.   

I did not want anyone to die though I was crazy enough to threaten you.  I was not in my right mind.  I know this is true.  To think my life is in Batman movies.  This is not flattering to me in the least.  I do thank the class and grace shown by Amsterdam.  I wanted a country where everyone was working together, not against one another.   

I think back on what I wrote in those first few years, and what I said.  When I lived on Estes and was writing all this revolutionary prose, that was being filmed.  Unbeknownst to me, people acted on my words and were ready to fight.  They would have been slaughtered.  At the time, I was concerned about the dogs I had attracted.  I believe we can all get along and HAVE TO, especially now.  I said let them go home.  I had no idea what I was doing.  I let the Nazi's free when they chained themselves.  I saw so many killed after you asked me a question, that I refused to answer when you asked me what to do with the witches... who I knew nothing about. I was shown a women kind of blathering.  You said a witch in a broom factory is a problem.

Then supposedly my brother Dave sends me a badly done, rock video, showing two of three witches put to death... only the Chinese one lived.  I knew the slaughter you did.  I have no idea how or why you really do these things...  how are these white people so sick to think they should control politics, no matter what the population thinks.  This is a dictatorship.  Unless even the Republicans recognize this is wrong and vote Democrat in protest....  slim chance of that happening//they could stop the fascism though.

So what do you do...  Lord, I would not write even a speculation, because I accept I am too ignorant to make decisions.  Most.  My morality is known.  I have to make clear I will sit down with anyone, no matter how much they hate me.  Or I hate some belief they have.  First off, the person with the belief is not the problem.  Their belief is not the problem.  The problem becomes harming one another.

This is where we have drawn a line and they sent a recently recruited, racist army over that line... and started building concentration camps.  First for the immigrants?  Hell, no, private prisons have been running wild for years, the public has just not paid attention.

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I thought I was working with good groups.  I was innocent.  Now when I think back on those who hid their agenda from me, but expected me to lead them in a revolution, and do not know whether I was right or wrong....

 I wonder now, since that strange dream happened during these times.  I was fairly crazy at that age.  When I think back on myself I am ashamed and sorrowful for how I treated people, before I finally became sane enough to kind of deal with this world.  My mind was scrambled like eggs.  I was classically brainwashed, though mystical events had followed me my whole life when I think back.  You can say I had really bad luck.  Living this life sucks.  I never wanted fans, or to live on stage.

     I will always remember the third rock from the sun character, the smart one, went fourth wall and said to me two things, one was, NO ONE IS GOING TO HELP YOU, and the second one was, I WOULD BE HONORED TO HAVE A SHOW ABOUT MY LIFE.  Like my torture was a show.  I saw Russel Crow in a brief skit showing him getting all these internet hits and being all happy about it...  I never got to know about these things.