Faith is innate... a hungry babes suckling lips seeking a nipple, warm milk.... We have a bit of faith in most things, faith in other drivers, that the lights will come on when we hit the switch, that people will act normal around us. Our hopes are occasionally dashed. But we wake up believing we pretty much know what is going to happen most days. I wish this was a lot more true with me, though I feel like I am settling into myself, and accepting whatever situation I am in.
If telling the truth about whatever I decide I must, is going to cause mayhem, it is probably not worth it... I cannot imagine wanting to cause this force anywhere. Mayhem, and Chaos are not the enemies, though they are just best kept at a minimum. Other matters I have to say, whether people believe me or not, or everyone in the underground knows, I just want out from under your lies about me. I think back ten years or so ago, and think I was mad. I had been brainwashed, and went from a very non-violent guy into their creation. I am back to who I am now, and have to live with what I did. I will. Living with whatever is thrown at me is a power given to me by God.
I joked the other day that I want a real lawyer and a court room, but I do not care. I have all these years had to accept and work with what I had. Pretend everything was as fine as possible. I do not.
I just want to give others a chance to do this right. I am not a leader in that sense. You know better than me, is how I think of most things. I have my accumulated opinions, most educated, but what worth are they without the decipher... to discover what is going on in the world, and why I am in jail.... though I get it better. Are you going with Hostage who somehow went native, or whatever... no, just a guy who thinks stereotyping people limits your ability to interpret reality correctly. And I am free enough I suppose.
I do not care more than likely to see how hated I am. I never took anyone's orders. I do take criticism, and if it is valid, I change if I can. I do not mind being PC if it helps take some anger out of this world. I do not want my words triggering anger in people. I believe in being friendly with everyone I can. From the bus driver, to the clerks, to people I pass on the street, in our mellow Chicago neighborhood.
There will be time enough to mourn for the future when those troubles arrive. We will mourn also not using what time we have with Nature wisely, preserving all we can, as long as we can, for the children being born today. As an older man I know what it is like to have a head full of very diverse memories, of a lot of different people. To be at the age where anyone who dies under seventy is young.
Peacemaker. This is the character they are using for me now on their tv version of me. I was first killed in a movie, where they thought I was a total order following freak, which I get now but I would have had no clue why... and I am glad I saw it afterwards, when people realized Oh, hell no.... I am no racist. I do not believe in stereotyping people. Period. I am not impressed or judging most of the time at all with people. Why should I....
They then put up a comedic movie with Peacemaker, bringing me back to life, after they realized that I was not who they thought I was at all. I was who I fucking told them I was all those years and still do. Anyways, he is brought out of prison, and sent to kill a group. This after I helped protect politicians when some shit went down. I did not like it, but it was stopped and will stay stopped if I have anything to do with this, as you know. On the cartoon, the character does say he does not take orders from anyone, just works with people when their means suite his. This I suppose is the closest to true that there is. Except, I have no idea who She is.
I will not stereotype white people, brown people, black people, yellow, red, or whatever... or any religion someone was born into, anymore than the geography that they were born onto. I am against no race. I am against race as a means of judging people, though I am not an idiot enough to think everyone is born on a level playing field in this world. Most Rich people got Rich with the help of Rich parents, or married into it... from rich families. Fortunes that could bring entire countries out of poverty that are mere numbers their accountant has. No concern to them if 25% of their money is taken.
Eisenhower said this country did not need any more millionaires, belittled trickle down economics, and warned about the Military Industrial Complex.
But the people let this happen, and now... I am weary though I would act with these new powers in ways that this country could peacefully change in record time, and then stop up the bottle. Here it is, the way for a politician to take this royal presidency and reset our democracy, as the founding fathers were sure would need to happen. Jefferson once wrote they might need revolutions every twenty years.
I would be Harris's V.P. if it would help. Were I president there would be scientists of all sorts coming to decisions that require immediate action, stop all nuclear missiles being made. Cancel future orders for most munitions. Slash that budget by fifty percent. The biggest change would be federal funding for elections. We put this through as an Emergency Measure. I could also do this and take the flack,then resign whenever we are done, which needs to be so well planned we just slide in and order the changes.
Bring the armed forces home from all over the world, and Nationalize the state Guards, in a show of support that hopefully will not be needed. Unions will be freed, taxes raised, present politicians mostly replaced, in elections that they have to run against candidates no 'party' has created. I expect some people will hold onto who they love for awhile, great. But no more wasting all this money on elections, let alone letting the wealthy decide who wins most elections.
Am I serious.. I have no fucking idea... to be honest. If you did it I would jump, but legally. I have not been high functioning enough to do this before, might not be now....
oh, what a silly fantasy. I am behind Biden. That is all there is. The party makes a change, I will be behind that person. I have faith in God almighty, and I am certain he prefers Biden. God himself is not going to say anything about Biden, we all know. I hope... I have faith. I have hope because I know there are some incredible people out there, who moved all these mountains no one said could be moved, wouldn't even try... I took a handful, a few others, all together it was nothing. I think.
I live in a world where so much is fiction about me, and now I see myself on a fictional cartoon. I am a bad guy doing work for good guys. I guess. "I work for lady liberty alone." was a nice line, that kind of summed up the character, which I guess is good. I need to thank all of you for this effort.
I can hardly imagine the hatred you had for me. I don't like to, and I see it once in awhile. I was crass, hurt your feeling without thought. All of you were targets of my hate. I was a fool, just a caged dog, who got it rattled a lot. I hated being mentioned at all on your shows. Usually. Not when I understood in the end... shows like Supernatural. I keep seeing Jensen Ackles one day when he was on a show Live and he looked terrified, like I was going to attack him. People take my criticism too seriously, but whether you were for me, or against me, you told me a lot. I learned. I owe you guys for that whether you hate me or not. You got me wrong, and right. I hope. Jack. My transition, after Castiel showed up in my trademark trench coat.
I do not want to go into specifics, because I do not know what I am to say, not to say.... I am sorry you and your family got caught up in this. I pray you are all always safe.
I noticed sadly a guy changed a bit on CNN after I made a half-ass comment about, which was one criticism that I had along with all this stuff about liking him. Does not mean I was right, and I more than likely was not. I am not the one who put in the time, etc. Things grow on one. This was just a stupid comment about how he was kind of Rah Rah I got a podcaste guy, who is always brilliant. I like the schtick, or his personality, and think it is one of his selling points if I sit down and give matters some thought... and if you asked me HEY< DO YOU want to hurt this persons feelings, my response would be GOD NO...
I had not a clue how much I . .. this would be me breaking down into tears. I am not sure that will happen again. Nothing I would have done in public. I know this seems long ago to you, but until you understand what was happening in my mind, you will still think I wanted.... what they set up. Taking my comedy stories as scripture was so alien to me, that I could not make the connection. I was Jesus waking up, and that was another me. I am horrified by what it took for you to finally inform me of what was going on, but that was a mistake on my part. The beginning of my realizing they were not just torturing you... I mean, I was very disrespectful, because the intrusion to me was something people shouldn't have been seeing. I realize now you did this because it was important, you were making decisions I would not.
Odd that in the beginning of this I watched Fox, their comics, and they had to do with this. Then I see the last one from last season on a total fucking fluke, because it was about Orange. I may have found out something, They showed Orange becoming this force of its own, when I was trying to say the only thing I wanted anything to do with were peaceful activists. I do not even want dumb, useless, conflicts with protester's and police officers.
They had Homer get his ass kicked in the end. They may have gotten across three things. Benny is in Charge -- yeah, kind of figured that out awhile back. Who do you think says give away power, and that there is Stand Point Theory, which I strongly believe in when approaching reality. Chicago's black experts on crime know these streets, and need to mesh with them, not clash. Okay, so Orange has alienated Benny, which I am not about to do. All this shit I had nothing to do with. I did get high off the thought of ending slavery. I am not sure what happened to me during all of this.
How any of it started, some joke, or speculation. I do not wish to be the cause of sending people to jail over what happened during which I consider war. If there is an end, of said war. If I am in the class war, then I am fairly certain we have a long slog ahead of us, though a chance of winning, for sure.
What did he do with his followers..... do not let them ever say I sent them to Heaven. Say I stole a father, a brother, a mother, a wife, a daughter from the living. I never would have done so. NEVER. I was driven to fight. This is not over race, though there are a lot of racial issues involved, and they mean a lot to me. I believe they are in heaven myself, though I am not sure you care. I cannot think without feeling the immense pain of those left behind, and the wounded mind and body and spirit. I would never have acted as I did if you had.... doesn't matter anymore.
I made my decision that I could not trust a group whose tactics I learned about first while being interrogated. I had no way of knowing if I was making the right decision or not, but what was done was wrong, and I would not lead people who did such things. Period. I guess I realized this.
I hate those ten days. I only have a few memories. So little was told me. I will NEVER be involved in anything like that again. I apologize to the left, the Communists, who got caught up in this storm. Innocent people, good people, etc. In all ways except one, their tactics of war. I am no expert on this shit, I cannot always tell who to believe. I make mistakes. This is why there sure as hell should be an editor between me and any order you think you get from me, because I am thinking more about how to write self-help books for people born today, who will live the environmental catastrophe.
That is the goal. I get a lot of shit for backing the police. I did not realize what this meant until years later. There were groups in the shadows that when brought to the light dissolved I pray. I pray the this little light of mine, I am going to make it shine, make it shine.... this little light of mine.
Where is the Hope and faith in Gaza today... is it in Heaven with most of their relatives, where they wish to be to escape the pain, of being trapped in a bombed building. There are no words to describe the horror I see. No way to explain the pain I feel while watching the news coverage. My insides crumble and I see the entire world collapsing, back into the tiny dot of the big bang, meeting with God and getting recharged to go out and do it all over again, create the next..... whatever comes from the God, too large to ever see, too complex to understand...
Nothing you said to me was going to change my core philosophy. I always become livid
