Wolves surround the flock and are coming in close now, trying to grab the outer sheep. They are terrified and huddled in a mass... I run for any who come in close. I hold my staff in hand ready to take out one wolf, when another comes at the flock from on the other side. Without thought, I take out my slingshot and a rock flies... followed by a scream of pain, then yelps receding off into the distance I have taken out an eye -- as is always the intent of my aim... Makes the one eyed fear even the smell alone of sheep, and the smell of this shepherd's staff, covered in their blood from previous encounters -- which I never wash off ... for this reason, turning the wood copper.
My metaphor only goes so far. There are wolves using words on the sheep even as I try to keep them safe, listening on their head phones to voices telling them that sheep are killers, that they are worldly citizens of this planet, ensconced too often in the evils that go along with a society which study after study shows in run by sociopaths and psychopaths... they think this is making tough decision, and their collective madness is spread by their having one, supposedly infallible leader. Not possible. The more informed people involved in the decision. But no.... we have sheep who have been brainwashed by wolves, to leave the flock of humanity, the love of everyone around you by hating their brothers and sisters. We are one people under one God. I do not care what you call God anymore than he does.
MY FLOCK is in danger by a growing pack wolves... many are well polished wolves in thousand dollar fleece suits, the deluded who believe whatever personality cult they have, be it just their preacher and the other nice folk at Trump rallies. They love bomb. These are like parties where they celebrate themselves to recognizing the Great Leader and government conspiracies which they make up. Some are real, but they have no clue what is really going on. Tell them that if they are making under a million a year, you will lose money voting for trump.... He will cut taxes on the rich, and where do you think the money will them come from to fix the streets, the poor and once middle class..... who have become so cult driven they actually believe they are sheep.
In their mansions the evangelists plot with the 'praying' for their next conservative president to get tax breaks and whatever the hell else they want. The cultural oppression that has made Christianity hated, after being used by politicians doing the bidding of the powerful and wealthy to trick the poor to vote against their interests. They already give vast sums of money, which is often needed elsewhere, to false shepherds, who are plotting with the wolves to deliver them over for fleecing and slaughter. Even now Christ is a curse on the lips of many... the left laughs at God, some... others use the power. The evangelists and racists and the terrified of everything and disbelieving of anyone except their cult leader, are being used to elect a fascist. This is a grand design, of which I was to be a part, though I am too ethical, and not afraid of death in the least, and blessed by the powers of God when I wish, or do not wish.
Those who thrive on hatred know not know God, just their own inability to attain the courage to face fears, phobias, and learn to thrive on love for one another, a much better feeling. Greeting with love, not hate, and this can be done. Has to be done sooner or later. Before a break down of society makes resources only available to a few, and we know that will be the rich, and then the white, and the poor and disabled and the the blacks who are not uber rich. I have seen them do this shit in this, a time of relative plenty in the USA as Gaza and the Sudan starve.
Orange, protests breaking out across the country.... anti-genocide, anti-war. A first since the sixties, and the bare beginnings of something unstoppable. The educated are much more prone to be liberal in their views, because once you understand this world is made up of those to whom the feelings of others mean something, and those whom the feelings of others mean nothing. Like a cab driver tried to rip Mary Ann off last night, she called me, and I got to be a hero for a change. Long story and I guess you watch me so you saw the whole thing. This is not an act for you, this is how I react to injustice in my face, especially if there is something I can do about it... even if it is telling a neighbor to watch out, the guy seemed to be selling stolen tools. A horror that MUST never repeated. A thought goes through my mind a lot... if they still think there is some point I am going to turn on blue, they should have their fucking head examined. Or look at the history. This is why it hurts my feelings, and pisses me off, when you do this. I am sure as hell am not for some of the tactics some officers have used.
I like everyone look forward to when the Mayor's pilot program starts where social workers are the ones who talk to families whose children are having a mental illness crises. I saw last night here in town, another one of those horrifying deaths that tells me, once again, this is not what they are trained for... to deal with a crises like this that without guns would not have been deadly. I am not second guessing anyone, but I would hope perhaps in the future, a man holding scissors could be disarmed with that stick they carry, if they still do. I do not want to get into being the judge and jury on this,, they shot tasers into him and he did not stop, which is a dangerous situations, etc... I was not there, so I cannot say. I can say that when social workers handle 9-11 calls, deaths go way down, because often they are able to calm the person down, or at least get them in a hospital. Many other alternatives. Aides to the police in the situation. Again, how this would work and all that, I am not the expert, and I do not mean to offend anyone. Everyone who is involved in that killing was ill effected. Killing kills something in you too. For some. Others are already dead when they get all the power of the gun, and the threats of arrest.
I see protestors now being careful they are not a too pro-present-form-of-government movement, or an anti-government movement -- they are issue oriented, and trying to use to law to get things changed. To stop purchases from Israel while they perpetuate this Genocide, and the Industrial Military Complex, which boils down to 69% or so of our taxes going to the one percent, the stock holders who do nothing, make off of oil...... and they prop up our present USA economy with arms sales. This is why there are now lobbyists for WAR. All issues are the class war, so we are of all races and religions and classes, are comrades. Anyone who goes about making the citizens of the USA to hate each other, is doing so a means to use people, to get votes. Or to bond. Many reasons.
Protests I believe have to
an issue oriented movement, taking on the fires, with all people realizing we share this planet that is presently being allowed to die, and this will happen quicker, and the people left to their own devices, because their taxes were used elsewhere -- making nuclear bombs they will not need, having enough to fill the planet so many times over... what a scam. I mean, we use one percent of our supply and the world is over...
These protests cannot be distracted by street fights with police officers, who are so far from the decision makers who will help this city in the end... the Mayor, an ex-teacher, is trying to get a Billion from Washington, an use Half to fix city schools. That alone with the free early child care our great Governor, David as I call him. Due to visions I had. I prefer to believe them but I certainly do not expect other to believe this. I do not say this is true, I say that I went on my own unique vision quest, fasting for three months, getting skeletal, an so much happened in my mind... people seemed very interested, and I am humbled by the one minister who came on, african-american, maybe my age, gray beard, asking about experiences with Ancestors, which I had never considered much before. My one friend believes in this very much. In fact, I asked him, how do you not just rage in the street after all blacks have been through, and Adam responded, "Our ancestors will not let us. They are peaceful." He was raised in a Christian cult with a Charismatic leader who had a fall from Grace, and the community went into a tail spin. They had no clue how to navigate teh world, so Adam stepped up to take that role. He left in his teens, attended university, navigated the corporate world to his advantage, started his own record company...
Then on my TV a preacher showed up, black man, gray beard, maybe balding, and he asked a question about ancestor worship... mentioning Adam by name..... asking about ancestors, comes on my tv one day while this was happening asking me quizzically about what I mean. I said I knew little about this and was surprised it showed up in my visions, though I wish to research whatever metaphors or analogies or whatever that God showed me during this.
Right now, I heard on the news this morning that Depaul University has an encampment like other cities, and the student they spoke to laid out the 'orange' map for a proper protest, like liaisons with the police. This way decisions can be made calmly, without rancour. Instead of by pushing and throwing bottles and etc... The Blue always gets the shit for these events. Made out to be the bad guys -- fall guys, basically, for whatever world event is being protested. Avoiding this divide and conquer of the classes, of which protesters and the police both are on the same side when it comes to Billionaires not paying taxes, and the middle class and lower classes have to bear the brunt of paying for everything... we do not have enough evidently to buy much more than weapons we do not need.
I am proud of the students who set the protest up like this, and for the police and campus officers who are working with the peaceful protesters at Depaul, and as far as I know other universities here in town. This is a world wide movement, and Chicago is the example. The heart of this nation. We show them how to protest, especially since it is possible striking will be made illegal. Then, unless this is somehow stopped, which I do not know how, though I certainly hope those who do are going all out on this one... I cannot imagine your not.
. I am going nowhere until my mission is done. How will I know my mission is done... well, God uses me like a lightening rod. My orders come in the form of becoming in touch with a larger sense of self, a creature I cannot imagine myself as. I have lost all control of how I am seen, and what reputation I hold in this world, only in my mind. There the smallest of sins haunt me, and largest of my sins overwhelm me with fears such things may be repeated, and I will be in no position to protect my flock... this is when I must remember there are many shepherds, and I am just one. I am one who knows a God exists from the supernatural events that have filled my life, showing some few who were watching that un-natural events took place around me. I love God who I have always tried to please, just by trying to be ethical, and occasionally failing, though in the day to day I always tried to be a kind and helpful man... unless drunk. One of many burdens that working to overcome gave me many, many tools to deal with emotional and mental torture.
I am a great hero and a great villain, depending on who you ask, and when. Or I am not. The times you have made me out to be a hero have passed now... I am no longer using the warrior inside me in the same way as before. Now, the time for angry words has passed. I used them when I believed they applied only to me and what was being done to me, so I terrified people... then one day you said, 'YOUR PEOPLE are afraid....' I did not want normal people afraid of me, let alone people who considered them my people. I had no idea who you were but I told you, you have no need to fear me.' I fear these people are long gone. The crazy believers I did not want, or the normal people driven over by the return of the Son of God.. .and then, the people who died over jokes I made, with no idea I had death in my words.
Now, I have used many armies as I have fought my wars in this country. I look at the dandelions in the grass today, bent down and softly stroked one... thinking of all the flowers mowed down, though their roots left intact, the only edible plant on their lawns and they spray it with posein... never goes away. The seeds live on, blown on the wind from the wild patches around the city, onto the gorgeous lawns wasting water across the states for no reason at all, other than habit. I will need you. You will need me. Right now you may feel I am a traitor. If you are a traitor, then I am a traitor to your cause of spying on the states, or etc. I know too much. I blame no one now. I used force to make clear how I feel about soldiers who break the rules of war. After all those years of losing my mind, and writing the kill kill prose of my trances, coming out of an unconscious trying to deal with being on an alien planet that looks like the one I used to live in.
I have thought much of how I do not want to imply I had some master plan. I did what I believed was right, at the correct time.... as was driven into me like lightening from the other side. Words I did not understand why I would say making sense in the end. Threats abated before they started. I do not understand the one who stood here after hearing I am, and in my case some weird form of course, of international fame. I pointed out the preponderance of Not co-inicidences happening in my life. I will not list this again, like I used to, everytime thinking I was writing to a reader who knew nothing. Instead in this blog I am turning to those who do know more secrets than I. Making a case for a better world than the one you threw me into, for one.
. The left must be clear of the tactics that led me to the Hague. Religious fanaticism. I understand this now better, have certainly appeared as one. I am not one now. I am open minded, and look at new ideas as ways that may help me have a truer vision of life -- if this requires admitting I am wrong and changing my opinion, great. Though other areas I will never change. All people are equal. Not just created that way and then whatever happens afterwards is their fault. We do not live in a world where one succeeds without either working ones life away incredible hours, like I used to do... or parents. Being white, male, etc... all helped me along in our unequal world. I in the end said one night, I am wearing white war paint.... like my skin covered someone of another color. I cannot explain if I meant anything by this.... but I certainly do not hate white people. I am very saddened that somehow 65% of whites back Trump, if that is true. I feel like they are simply ignorant. I do not know how to explain this to them in a way they will understand. I refuse to take a person's will, though freeing from the grasp of another is also imperative to me, in this case, because I had my hand in stirring up this hatred of the press.
I know the group that tried to use me is Behind Trump. I know the hatred you will spread, the targeting of individuals who can expect no help from the state. The complete enslaving of all under a few elon musks... We are not required to pay taxes if we are not represented. I picture attempting to stop everyone from paying any taxes; it may get that hardcore, and of course trump wants to get rid of the IRS. I see the hellish path he leads down in my mind. Feel like Paul Atreides glimpsing the Golden Path, which he knows is the only way humanity can even survive, despite the horrible blood entailed in his Jihad. I am not a fictional character, though the warning about letting one person rule, instead of a council, or a democracy, is also apparent. I do not want to see any bloodshed. However, so far we have appeased away the rights of women in many states to Health care. When we should be getting the EPA passed, we have fanatics in power who disdain women. From science to the so called Balls of Power in Washington. They disdain out right to their face, blacks and hispanics and about anyone who does not have a lot of money to give them, or influence to share; he does like dum people, which won him more minds than can be imagined. A place where politics is easy. For dum people. Just like professional wrestling, cheering for the Good guy, booing the bad guy... no offense meant to wrestlers, mind you.
Free means getting rid of the old leadership. Free means the lower economic classes and communists and libertarian's and even neo-liberals or Republicans with sanity... stopping the rule of a murderous fascist, who will stamp out freedom, and allow the cruelest, inquisition like minds to have their way. All who think they will not be on the Dictator for a Day list have another thing coming.
I would abolish the Supreme Court, and offer a blanket immunity to politicians, who have catered to oil and weapons manufacturers to the point the USA have almost single handedly polluted the world beyond fixing. A new crew needs to be elected, by as I pointed out, no commercials... federally funded platforms for candidates to lay out their platform of issues. Then debates by those who score in the primary -- this is a framework those who know how to do this right can laugh, as long as they lend their expertise to make this right, or not. The elections become based on what has been done. Also, the number of senators and congressman will be reflected by population, not land. Giving inordinate power to the few is what we need to reverse to get the kind of true Democratic Republic that can deal with the green house effect. I have no vendetta, simply trying to help. I who cares nothing for power will over-see the civilian panel if you wish, or some leadership position if needed. If not, than I will continue as I have.... hey, and what if all you are telling me is a lie now.
When other countries realize what will happen if Trump becomes president, the dictators are gleeful, and those who wish a free world shudder. The USA goes fascist freedom dies across the planet. War will become inevitable. Nukes and shit or surrender more likely. The industrialists across the planet want this, and will use Trump to get their way, to enslave us for the final years of humanity. He will stop all environmental concerns from being addressed, as he did before. This guy believes the world is ending, too. He is just dancing on our graves...
My mission has been to keep this country a Democracy by any means necessary. I always seem to leave the 'means' to others. I am not sure how this will play out. Biden must win... and get a congress and a senate that will work with him, or we will lose the ability for our vote to mean anything at all. the Republicans manipulate this election to get a known Dictator, as he shows in his party where loyalty to Trump is the Golden Ticket, they think... the line they sign with the one who smells of brimstone and fire.
I believe an immediate, unexpected as possible, assault should be made by the Armed Forces to do a reset on Democracy, before they are known as the soldiers who appeased the dictator. The soldiers who failed to live up to their oath to fight against all threats foreign and domestic. I want an armed response. I do not want a revolutionary force. I want the entire Armed Forces to stand up for this country as they never have before, in a situation the country has never faced before. You are the last hope for the USA remaining a free country. We fight Trump one way or another. At first you may try legally, but this is not going to work. So what am I getting at.... Prepare for War. I wish to democratize this country. We can do this.
You can show the world this is a different USA. Where we will not be sacrificing our young for the pockets of billionaires. Or back a Genocide. Trump wants a race war. This must not be allowed to rip our countries people apart, for the benefit of men and women in mansions, who stay far from the fray, let their accountant deal with the funding of their dark visions.
Copper is the protector of Democracy in this country. The blood you spilled cannot be in vain. Those who died cannot have died in vain. To attack wolves I cut down daddolines. They grow back. I am not a communist, though we are much closer than Trump. I consider China an honored friend, no matter how they feel about me. They told me to fight when I wanted to give up. The only time they spoke to me, other than to ask if I wanted to fight them... to which I replied, GOD NO, I want to be China's friend.' This was a domestic operation, which is why I requested that China and Russia stay out of this conflict. That was my only intent. Too much has been done for me by the Chinese Government, and members here, for me to ever not feel I owe them my life. I literally do. They believed I was worthwhile, when my own government hated me. Of course, who I am is always in question, after the mind-rapes, lies, ptsd just from hearing about what happened, let alone being blamed, for years, for shit I did not even know was happening, and stopped when I found out.
I went from the loving unicorn to a killer. I asked for the head of the one who I believed, out of madness of God, who had done these things knowingly... a racist. When I knew the leadership would never change, I made sure they died in as great a numbers as possible. Those who stole children and made them soldiers. And so many other things I cannot abide. The Chinese did not originate all these things. Like I have said many times, I know this was started by industrialists. I was shown a list early on, though I had no clue what that really meant. I thought we were going to get rich. My dreams fulfilled. I thought fame brought money, but none was offered me...
I was tricked over and over at first, and I ignored when people spoke of things that disturb me greatly now, like being on the radio, and hearing that Hitler has been taken out of me. Like I had Hitler in me. I never in my life gave much thought to Nazi's, let alone would do what he did... or so I thought at the time. I had no idea I had been designed by man or God to be a judge of human kind. You asked me to choose the worth of people based on skin tone. Don't tell a Chicago cab driver, who made a point of picking up blacks and heard how many times they were passed up too often to count, that skin tone is the way to tell who a person is. Other cab drivers said blacks don't tip. They tipped me. Their expectation led to behavior that caused them to not deserve a tip. So they did not pick up blacks. Even black cab drivers told me they did not pick up blacks.
I remember my first year here, giving a kid a book, the Autobiography of Frederick Douglas... he told me, 'My friends on the southside don't think white people like you exist.' I think of that a lot. This was never an ethic you could get from me. Later, race war... and you try all these asinine ways to convince me the science I have read all my life, along with enough life experiences to be over the xenophobia that I once had. I had it. It went away with familiarity. God gave this boy from an all white town in Indiana strong ethics, and experiences, learning, and mentors, with a black guy saving my ass, taking me in when I crashed drunk the summer after high school and ended up in Dallas. I woke up that morning knowing I needed treatment. I was used to fancy places where my insurance got me in. This was in an all black neighborhood, a dingy dormitory room with bunk beds for sleeping, three meals a day, all cooked by the same guy. Nice man. I ran meetings there for a month.
Then to have eo wilson himself coming on my television to say I will choose my own kind, that this is sociobiology ligist He knows we are all humans. Hell, he practically thinks we are apes, but we are not... we cannot compare to the nobility of those in the wild. The wants of the few take the needs of the many in our kind. To use a guy I read to try to influence me. I do not join cults of personality, or guru with anyone. Period. AA was about finding your own way to a higher power, even if it were simply the group. For years I went to one for atheists and agnostics, so people would only turn their problems over to themselves... this was a rare period. I do not know if blacks and whites and browns and yellows and reds and this and that political formula all had their sides. I suspect this, because that is the dream of those who have divided and conquered us.
There are cultural differences in human beings. They are all worthy of the love of God. No matter what they have done. He see's not that moment but the lives leading up to that moment and the life that lead to that moment and the genes turned awry and the ... all of it. A human who started as a baby, turned into a beaten dog in a cage. Born perhaps into the wrong human geography. In the USA there are many, and a minority of them have power over the majority. This is the antithesis of a democracy, and has to be corrected. There is no time to wait, with the current environmental catastrophes coming up, the Military will need to revamp, and learn to concentrate on domestic issues, while still maintaining what we can of a firewall against those who would steal democracy from those who wish to live in that manner.
A fascist Trump will continue to collude with human rights abusers, and admiring people like Chairman Xi, like Trump could handle the power of such a man. Trump does not have the intellect, let alone the empathy, or the politically earned place. He is a new comer, who says he wishes to unfriend China. An impossible feat, though it sounds good on the campaign trail. China does not mind dealing playing 12 level chess while Trump filips his checkers around in his hand, declaring they are casino chips, worth millions, embarrassing everyone with a blatant lie without noticing much less caring at all.
Hundreds off thousands died because of how Trump's Kushner, the mass murderer who stalked Chicago, LA, and New York's old folks homes, leaving them half abandoned, as they held up the covid vaccines;.a known racist slumlord handled Covid, deliberating holding off vaccines to the large, liberal cities, hoping the death count would hurt them politically. This is not the kind of decision a person God has destined to lead such would make. Covid caused Five thousand deaths under Xi. We are different systems, with both good and bad built into the the very frameworks, and a leader does what he can.... though one can see the difference between a leader who cares about the people, and one who lets them die for political purposes. But Trump let people die, Xi served them. I am not sure Trump could ever understand the difference. He has spent his life being served.
Wilson used as propaganda in a war should not surprise me, since the feminist found a lot of faults in his work. Assigning male and female traits to animals, etc... but when he said that to me... I was astounded, again, by how much this meant to you. Only now, much later, do I think of the people I have interacted with over the years, and yes, I remember way more than you may think, though I of course do not have the evidence, the filming of a life for punishment and profit, that you have.... I do not bring them up because I do not know what is classified here. I guess anything that truly exposes you, means going naked in public. This is not something I have ever done. Despite being tricked into a few seconds of damaging footage, that rocked the world... The penis that saved the world. I would have found out about none of this had that not happened. I was glad, because it allowed me to stop your race war. This was never mine. I do not like being threatened, and told, when I said something about making pancakes, throwing the flour on his face. I had no clue my life had been used as a way supposed inspiration for shit I could not even imagine happens in the world of the law abiding, outside a warzone, to some stoner who lived on the beach. I was invited to write speeches for a president, and blew that chance.
So deluded I was about who got to watch me that my world crumbled after that. I had no clue more than spies and their colluding actors and actresses, and news people, knew about this somehow... even as people came to visit in the summer in Roger's Park, gay men one day, another everyone dressed in black, the Scottish dressed gentleman on the street there. All the confusion comes back at me like the string theory, no straight lights, all these curves with seemingly no meaning, that just happened to each time save the idea of a democracy, and the potential of one, in the USA. Sadly I might be too late to help politicians to straighten this out this time. I want to... but I am no fool, and not willing to risk a Democracy falling into the hands of a man funded by the 50 of the most wealthy families in the country, a scoundrel who will lead to scoundrels coming around him from all over, and trying to brutally rule over the rest of us.... should I have any say in the matter.
I will never again say the end equals the means. I would rather die with my honor intact, since what bit I have is all I have left. It may be mine alone, shared by no one else in their perception of me... And it is barely there, but there. I knew too little of how the two powers I decreased were operating, what they wanted, etc. No one before had seemed to be able to prove I had power by contacting me. If people could not even do that.... of course later I learned of the complications, ten years ago.. perhaps this still exists, as does the peril, as I learned. Where did such hatred come from I ask myself, and I hear from the politicians to the preachers. Speech writers putting out those far right sermons blaming all kinds of people for ridiculous matters, quite frankly. They cause real world pain, but there is a par of me that is just like, WHERE are you getting this crap.... sure is not the God I know. The God I know would have religion inspire politicians, but that also means removing politics from religion; otherwise democracies fail to work.. inspired by to do good things, but that means granting the Golden Rule.
To exist alongside science, religion will have to accept that Jesus said to throw out the old salt, meaning scripture that no longer applies. This is part of why they were always writing new books, etc... to the bible back then, I suppose. Regardless... This does not apply to people, who in my religion are always allowed to redeem themselves, be forgiven... be baptized and born again into another life; even if the ritual is just part of what you go through to be part of the community, a baby is splashed and for a moment the profundity of life seems obvious.
Get revenge on your favorite villain,
I hope to God you have seen by now that every human on this planet is a child of God. Every single one. Killing them for reasons I still do not understand, here, never leaves my mind. The fear of a world split by such a line. I cannot, will not, and if I ever seem to I am sorry, try to speak for anyone other than myself. I certainly cannot speak for black people. I support them on the issues I agree with, and universal humanity, equal rights, an end to racist policies of any sort, and class policies while we are at it... I also support Codepink, love Democracy Now, Black Lives Matter is still a dream in my mind, as is Me-too. They talk on the news about the me-too period. Then take away abortion.
Then there was the case of my being a Patty Hearst, with Stockholm syndrome. This after I had been writing for years about how I hated racism, never saying a racist word... though my weed connection, set up by a spy, who SNL made out to be my friends, because I was nice to them. Too nice. When I knew what they were doing I wanted to kill them myself.
I had only Bob as a friend all these years. He showed up just before all this started, though already set-up for sure. The rise of Jesus. They were all ready to take advantage of this as well. You certainly send people I will love to trap me. Bob, Barbara... who I still think of all the time. I do not know what happened to her. Our last comment was just that she wanted privacy. She used the word three times with exclamation points. I guess there is no contact I can have with anyone that is not recorded, pretty much.
Earlier, I remember also her coming on my tv once saying I destroyed her life, and responding that I did not give a shit about her life. Her husband, now dead --Hello, Henry... was an abusive, carousing drunk when we met. He became worse, than quit drinking. The woman who broke up with me by saying her sex drive had diminished so we should break up. No heart at all. I was just an object to her.... a fuck. I kind of knew it all these years, the occasional hurtful things she said. Still, I thought I would wait for her, like in Love In The Time of Cholera... her husband is long dead now. I would not have fit in her life. Especially now.
I always thought I would fit once I was a famous writer. I took a different road... well, got taken off the street, had a hood thrown over my head for three days of darkness. Woke up with notes written all over my body... saying the tv was talking to me. Probably how they brainwashed me. Do they have this down to an art... just put in the CD and they have awakened the Christ. Will he be terrible, or kind... a serial killer... Lord. I had no clue I was already part of a war, which started when I went after the Bushes, having no idea my words would cause such a stir. But there was a force ready to do these things, and they were using me as their front man. The hell started right away... treated like shit, feeling like I had to fight, I wrote about a revolution and the world was allowed to see. Told by the church, We took off his wings, but this is an angel....
Now, I have come in peace and ended up fighting. The Peacemaker they made me out to be in one comic version. I was killed in a movie, then brought back after they realized they had me all wrong. They made jokes about me, in a way, and seemed like a peace move.
I remember the Simpsons saying that I left 'Benny' out of Orange, meaning blacks. Besides being a bit more correct than I believed at the time I guess. I had no control over what happened to Orange, made the color a designation off the cuff, on the Polish Orange Movement, which was a huge inspiration to me as a kid, raised Union... to see one stand up to the Soviet Union, who here we knew little more than propaganda about.
The jokes about a guy who wants peace ends up fighting all the time. Total war for Total Peace. Became a battle cry. Uttered from the pedestal the industrialists built for me, expecting me to go along and bring about some kind of change, a one world government, I am fairly certain. I do not know how or why all this was set up, but I suspect the same folk who tried to use Smedley Butler, the great Marine.
I want to be peaceful, but I am a fool if I think my wishes are going to come true without some Force. Right now we must stop the big 3 from being run by strong men. For awhile I tried to tell you there is a fourth power now. There is. Me. Killer of worlds. First soldier in an army too subtle to use violence.
Get three dictators running the world, You will be sleeping under your desk, like Musk wants us peasants to do.... The gulf between rich and poor will start fires, here and there, and then burn the whole place down..
Those of us who have sworn to protect this country must not be fooled by imitations making this same clarion call... those who call all this the liberals fault when they do more for them than the republicans, who just use them, because they believe election lies.
I tried to use those beyond the law to gather the resources to give to charities, get a tax from the rich, though I have never been able to trust my allies to do their part. I was willing to try anything. I said a few words and things happened of which I know nothing except a few commercials. And now, when I finally see nothing else may work, I do not have an underground force anymore. I thought this was the right thing to do, though I suppose I still have associates. I did all this and right after found out I had a disease that may kill me rather shortly. This was more of a burden than I let on. I tried not to think of it... I am getting fairly good at this, since I have to get rid of triggered horrors in my head all day long. Like sexual thoughts, I toss them out of my consciousness (I am surprised by how God uses me to show you the hollow emptiness of objectification by humiliating me... I did not act like I needed love. I did not know I had it with Mary Ann anymore. I look at all this now and cannot understand why I acted the way that I did... just seeking an escape from my situation -- though I NEVER would have slept with a woman who did not want me. I would never use my position to get sex, and God never gave me that temptation... another reason he kept me from coming out and physically playing your game, but forcing you to talk through the television..
What am I to do now... when I look around and see a country about to fall apart because of a minority with too much power. And are killing to keep it.
Our country needs to be rebuilt around preparing for climate disasters. The military will be in charge in the end, in most areas, they will be the government. Along with the police, and community leaders. We need to democrotize our democracy again. Federally funded elections of citizen politicians, with term limits, and strict rules about not being able to play the stock market, and watch their friends and families too. No more of this insider trading. No more mostly of working with the rich to steal the rest of us blind, and turn us into slaves along the way.
We will take Washington this time, and put politicians on trial. All people who can be shown the government, the elected part and the intelligence agencies, where they are functioning properly, and where they are merely helping the rich steal from the poor. There are too many people convinced this election is about race. This is about humanity, not race. This is about ethics, over chaos. The difference between having a say in our elections, and losing the ability to vote for any party that is not in line with the ruling party... I will die before I let them kill Democracy forever from these shores... people of conscious, any youth who wish a future of any sort, must rally now around the few who will know how to deal with this strategically. To think my words get seen by everyone means they can always prepare for what I write.. though. not what I say, of course. Not that I have any big plans, but I do not exactly get a heads up, though in the future, I hear the drums of war... growing louder everyday.
So, Scott, how do you rally the troops to stop the supreme court from destroying the country.... can that be done.... have you burnt every bridge this time around. Do you stand alone, a civilian of sorts, dangerous but kept around in case he is needed...
Oh, how you feared the end of the world was here, my presence and dreams seeming to be proof to many -- or many were convinced of this, or were ordered to pretend that they did. Others certainly believed, at times. Where you are with this now, seems ambiguous to me... I hope you know at least that I have your best wishes in mind, and will do anything I can to promote solutions, while they are still possible. Outlaw strikes, like they are talking about, and there will be no peaceful way for the working class to peacefully fight back.... after awhile. First the mass firings when there are stikes, arrests... what this could bring on I have no idea, though I will there, in the hearts of minds of those who were forced to grow up with me on this planet. I am sorry for the sorrow my presence brought. I set out to help shape the one world consciousness I thought would happen on the web. Instead it is now used to segregate people who live next door to each other.... mentally speaking.
The Rights of the citizens of the USA are about to be legally stolen by a corrupt supreme court. Strikes, so effective again of late, are going to be made illegal. I cannot begin to imagine what this means. To me it is taking away the last legal recourse the workers have of addressing their concerns. A day when the dreams of the working people are crushed, finally... every time the workers get together, or any co-olition of blacks, whites, brown, and yellow people of all religions and not religions.. they are destroyed. This process has accelerated to the point that the elite are shamelessly using trump as their puppet. As they did with me once. That led to horror, but I stopped what I could. He will open the floodgates...
I will never forget there is a genocide going on right now. The world watching as brave journalists on the spot die in the hundreds to tell the story to the world. A unique era in history when a people who have been oppressed for years by a group with a genocidal agenda is making their move, to clear the Others from their country. To steal what they have and kill or expel them. Starving babies to death is just a tactic to terrorize their enemy, as they see it.. . most of the rest of the world see's just what it is... an innocent civilian in a war, starving to death because Israel is with holding food from them. Breaking another International law, which they just consider policy, figuring, as all dictators do, that no one can stop them. This time he is so far on the wrong side of history that many Jews demand Nuutty yahoo stop using the name their religion for a Colonialistic genocide.
Trump says he would do even worse in Gaza. He wants AIPAC money going into the pockets of his minions. He will bomb US cities if he wants. He will have open season, backed by dictators who can easily work with him, since he is corrupt. I do not blame them for doing this, we certainly try to move people toward Democracy, on the surface at least. The USA is known for getting involved in stealing elections, coups, etc. From South America to the Middle East. This has been the military industrial complex and the oil companies getting their rich, entitled, dreams to all come true. Who cares if the peasants die along the way. I do. I Am.
On so many fronts the people without a lot of money are losing bad. We have a few wins but unless the Supreme Court is dealt with, by Biden adding members, as he should do asap... I mean, I do not really know if this is possible, etc. Though I fear they will plunge us into war. I certainly hope a lot of people would simply not go along with the minority imposed laws, that citizens do not want. I pray Blue just says No, you are not making us part of your fascist machine -- because they can read enough history to find out what Trump will do to them in the end.... ask the police officers at the white house on 6-1, to be obvious.
I look for the brilliant solutions I hear coming from some, the positivity of others. We have come too far to consider turning back. The Charge continues. The recruits are endless. For now. Give them fifteen years with the public schools turning back the clocks and fomenting racism, misogyny, homophobia, anti-semitism, and all the other xenophobias used to get people all emotionally worked up, and so many more will go along with the madness of the crowd, and lynch and burn and destroy.
I could not be a real leader among people until I was honest with you, I realize now. I mean, I stand by actions, and feel God worked through me, for reasons that I understand at the time, or later... or never. I felt I needed a shield, and I have, and those who have been this shield, I thank you. I know many of you have good reason to feel I betrayed you, though most of that was my ignorance. I am still ignorant, though I have learned enough to know that there is too much conflict already without my adding more. I wish to de-escalate any situation I can, but this does not mean I will not still be watching my flock, and fighting the wolves who try to come near.
Yet, like once before, when I was mistaken, I feel like my influence has lessened, perhaps gone away to some degree. Perhaps I am going to be demonized again by the press, and tv, etc. I have stayed away from the station that showed me their white supremacy. They obviously did not want me watching them. I had proven by stopping a genocide that I was not on their side. I figured all the stations were at least sane enough to know this is wrong. Later, I would make myself look like a hypocrite, in a way, though war is a different matter than harming civilians for reasons I hate to contemplate too much. If that is the way some things work, we may have needed a revolution. I may have been wrong all along. We will see.
I could not trust any of the groups that tried to back me, and the one group I was interested in creating became a movement nothing like I conceived, because I forget I am surrounded by violence, and that I am some kind of commodity. An object. The peaceful movement molded into something I had nothing to do with, or would support. I get a slight guiste of what you do.
I am never quite sure if there is any way for me to do good in this world.... though I have to try. The alternative is to stand by while evil flourishes, and I am not wired that way. I can accept my past. I tried with very little knowledge to do what I could, and always will. Never tell a child, no matter who, what, where, when or why they were born, that God does not love them as they were created. Do not tell them that I do not love them, and would pluck them from poverty if I were a Bezo or a spacey x boy... I am not. I was repelled by the bloody money offered me. I will always be.
I have to try to content myself now, to live my life as I can. I have it better than most, I know. I thank those who have lived and died to keep me safe. I owe so many of you more than I can return on this earthly plane, though in my religion, blessed are those to the father who bring blessings unto the son. By blessings he means many things, and I know this. Some of you hated yourselves afterwards. I would have hated the cult leader, too. Blamed them for leading you folks the places you went. I would never in all eternity ask you to do something all nutty.
The more absurd your fear of me, the less likely it is to take place. I am not sure who all surrounds me at this point. What they do that I do not... but the absurd things I have heard, even in the last few years, just have me wondering what you think a Christ is -- for real or not, I feel the impulses of a being like this, and I am not here to steal your mind, wealth, etc... let alone covet your women and wealth. I learned. I grew. He let you watch. I may hate what my life has become at times.... but I am blessed. This I forget too often. I have spent so long in battle mode\disinfo mode that coming back to who I am, with this new knowledge of being able to seemingly effect the weather, and all of the miraculous doings that convinced me me.
I wish I had a way of openly communicating with someone who knew my situation. I wondered for awhile if I went to the Chinese Embassy if they would offer me asylum, or treat me like some nut, call the cops and get me put in a hospital. This was back on that horrible day, which I remember as seeing you showing me in a green house coat, and a bulb going off that you were all watching me all the time. Not just a few spies like I thought. Or tv people. I was able to forget the world reacted to me in any way. Able to forget it in a way and go into my fictional Jesus world. Or the revolutionary mode, thinking I would have readers in some future.
Now, I fear the collapse I heard about from the last time. I had no control, and there was no reason to think I would on this one. The fighting methods used were ones I spent years of my life researching to slam in my book, point out the horror of War. Not a manuel. Stoner comedy, not life plans. All this and I still write, not for the ones who might think this is scripture. Please give me the ability to be wrong, because I do not know everything. Editors would be needed and years to think about a thought I added... whether it is right or wrong for the text....
Ask me right out if I am Jesus and the only honest answer I can give is, "When you ask that question, I feel like I cannot say No." Inside something wells up deep and says you will not deny yourself. This to me, would be to deny God. This is tied into the miracles God has shown me, and there have been miracles all along. There are many more to come. I am not going to promote myself. But this is how I feel. And this takes over when I am filled by the spirit, but for the most part it means no more to me than I am me... I am just me and if this also applies, fine. What I am called does not matter to me at all, if I can do good with whatever force I have.
God, Bless the Catholic Church for teaching me so much in the last few years, and the good Cardinal, and Pope Francis for his open mind and heart, and his love of peace.
I was stunned and sorrowed to hear the troubles caused to Catholics by my anger. I blamed them at first, because of the hospital where this started. Saint Anthony's. I went out one night and all these people had blue shirts that said Catholic, trying to tell me my allies, the police, were Catholic. I had said something ridiculous, I remember now, about how I needed to leave Chicago, and would kill Catholics... or some such bullshit, to do so. I have no clue where all this came from, but certainly, when in the hospital, I merely asked for a Mormon bible because they said Christ comes back in the states. I certainly know little about the religion and do not follow them.
What do I follow... I believe that objects can be made Holy, like many churches do... ancestor acknowledgement... not worship, just acknowledging they exist and are with us, whether we are doing good or bad. I saw them turn their backs on some. I do not know what any of this means. I saw in my starvation the souls of the dead, heard them singing along with their music, saw one, John Prine, sitting on the edge of the tunnel out of here... singing along.
In truth, I wish I had found the Catholic Church young, and become a priest. An activist priest. I would always have too many burdens for children. This does not mean I do not dream of a small country church, a family, living in the parish, helping a few people in any way I can. Taking in migrants and the homeless. Obscure and humble. Easily loved, and easily forgotten when my children's children pass. A lot of dreams. Going on tv and giving the loving, peaceful Christians a platform to back these issues with the power of Christ, instead of trying to get ratings and donations. I would prefer to take tiny donations and give them away quickly to people in crises. You read that and think, but you are this web thing.... and I never dream of being on tv and all that shit. I never did. I wanted to write books.
Instead, I was prepared to write by a God who had other needs of my skills. I cannot really imagine living any other way, nor would I exchange my pain for my triumphs. One day makes all of this worthwhile. One day was enough. God has given me many, that I do not even know about. What you have done for the good of the country. Waiting to revolt, thinking we can violently take over this country... I cannot ignore such matters just because in the future, life will get harder. I am not going to lay down and die now. Just over worry. As Bruce Lee said, 'Worrying over something makes you feel the pain twice.'
I see many paths leading off from this day. I will follow my ethics, and my God. Who shall I fear... who shall I fear... who shall I fear... for fear I do. I fear war. I fear death. I fear the evil thoughts that have spread like demonic whispers through the evangelical church, making them vote for the most immoral man to walk the earth. I fear the wrath of God will flow through me again, when you come to me in times of crises, and I can help you, I will. I do not care who you are, what you are. What you have done. On this I now feel like a priest. I take confessions and offer forgiveness, tell you to Sin No More... and the sins of the epoch, the terrible times, coming because of our polluting actions now, the good lives some have lived at the expense of the many.... requires repentance .
I do not know if there is a heavenly decision made between which souls go to heaven and which go to hell, whatever those are. I did not believe much in hell until Good Friday two or so years ago, when I went there in a waking dream. The timing was not lost on me, let alone that nothing of the sort had ever happened before, let alone on the day associated with my visiting hell. Perhaps there are like I believe paths through the bible that are righteous, giving, peaceful, friendly... that abhor all violence. That tell us to turn the other cheek. Personally we must do this... though in war, it simply means we die and are no longer useful to the cause. Then again, this is speculation. For you. This entered my list of miraculous events, even though it is a bit nebulous.
I end with a plea for peace. There are two tunnels of truth now, two echo chambers, that dominate the back and forth hatred... people are even splitting up their families over this. This is important enough for me to understand.
I love you. A part of me envisions the first molecules created by God, and marvel at what you have become, this rich jell of planets and stars and galaxies, black holes... the light was suddenly every where on on one side, the dark, immensity of God, behind a perfect line between the brilliant, blinding mass of stars and the darkness flowing off seemingly forever on the the other side. As if we are creation at one point in God.. in his immensity, when I see myself with Him, I know there is so much I do not know, enough for an eternity of contemplating curiosities, like the Growth of a planet, I could conjecture and say we are a tiny spot in the hugeness, though important all the more to God in a Heaven that is mostly just him, the formless, shapeless spirit. Like myself. Along before you though I have no idea how long... my memories on this earth start there, where they would for this tale.
Stay strong, or at least try. Big Love.
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