Well I am not a .... but I have played one in the show they made of my life. How many apply to this man isolated from your world. I find myself more interesting than anyone else. A lot of writers feel this way as they create. The thoughts I think are my own. They are about things I ponder and many never answer and other times making a bare time line of who did what, where, why... and try to stop this behavior, without violence.
When I first discovered you had killed people, I went into shock. Every face you showed me that was still alive, I bowed to them, happy they were alive. I later found you took this as something else. Acting. Tell me some people died, and I am serious as all fuck. Going how do we stop this, or how do we keep it going... depending on the issue.
Why I made no sense to you, was because I had lumped the whole world together, felt you were all in on making my life hell. Being mocked on TV or even used for things I did not care about, had no way of knowing what they meant.
I just had the thought that I owe this writing to people who were caught up in the cults. They deserve to know how tricked and used they were. You can blame me all you want. I have been crucified before, and I prefer the kind you do in your media to the real thing. I can take your jabs, though I cannot understand what your dogs and cats are all about. I have my own set of belief, thank you, and I am not having some group mind come in, and destroy the learned one in me... who has accumulated his own mental library of wisdom, and who was to be the voice of the writer, a man who would effect how people thought, and lived. As many had done for me. I did not take their word as scripture, just pieces in a puzzle.
As are my own words. Always remember, no matter where this went, this started with commercials showing billionaires making snow angels in money and saying, We Bring You An Angel.... I of course was clueless... a world domination, racist as all hell. A world I never dreamed existed. In this world my words could be nothing except ignorant. Or so it seems to me, now... whoever I am today....
What will the puzzle of my life will look like when it is done; I know there will violence on parts. I remember being pushed off a cliff, told to learn to fly... and I did. Unarmed I flew my olive branch through your bullets, missiles.. above the dying and the dead. Each time landing somewhere on the other side. Lost, always lost... and unsure who I am even to give this Olive Branch to....
My now... I never meant to fight for peace. I used the wrong metaphor. Had I talked about us all attacking the problems with the earth as a disease... rather than a war. Would we all have joined together, from our different perspectives, and without blame began to do the work of healing.... the man who by some weird coincidence lost only one key, the question mark, on a laptop coffee soaked that coincidently came back to life when I was told all was lost. I just use three dots... You know this if you are forced to read this, or wish to. Please do not read with any trepidation. I am not out to hurt anyone. Indeed, after recent statements I felt I should clarify my position on certain matters.
Copper is a dream in my head, that like so many came true, though had I not been filled with the fire of God, the ... unexplainable knowledge of an epiphany of sorts, which make more and more sense as time goes by. Humbled by those who came together when this nation was in danger, who helped stop a force in motion. "Thank you to my protectors." The president said. Keeping the Experiment of Democracy alive, and moving it towards 'for all the people' is a simple goal. Keeping Eagles alive when I once more found myself surrounded by folks kept hidden from me. Asking me to lead a crusade, the values or goals were unknown to me... and whose tactics were told me in horrible accusations, an interrogation where I learned what had happened in this world for the first time.
Or... simply denying the reality of the situation. The past... I have to deal with now. Copper I expect to be filled with leaders better equipped in all ways to lead, and I hope that you can work with others. All races must be included. Different philosophies, because there is no left or right, just keeping the government going so we have a chance to make a Democracy out of this mess; we have it good compared to many places, and most know this. If you do not watch Aljazeera for a week ( I do not care who owns this station, I care about the force produced -- I learn about Africa, the middle east, etc... all the stories the western media wishes to hide. I thank the owners, for bringing the suffering to the attention of the people, that is ignored by so many. May God Bless you). Keep the Eagly limping along. The right wing is broken at the moment. The Eagle is easy prey, that must be protected. And the broken wing needs repaired. I am not saying Copper should be political, the less the better, so all views you have can continue. If you become a weapon of the left or the right -- unless one attackers another, and then all bets are fucking off, along with the heads of those snakes ....
Suggestions only. I have let you know who I am by now. You must accept some part of me, or you would not have rallied for Democracy when you heard my cry of Charge. Now the idea I wish to have power for the sake of being influential is true, though I am who I am, and still have not the slightest clue who reads me with interest and who reads me with hate. Who is looking for weakness, and who is challenging me to some fight. Like NBC.
God sure put me in some strange places in this life. I am still unsure what 2 means here, or 7 entirely. I try to watch them both to balance the view, because when the genocide was stopped the channel jumped to 7 and gave me the message. I certainly thanked God that day.
No more going along as usual, saying This is how we make the sausage....
A pirate. I was not a pirate. I was not sure what the flag meant, they hung in the window of a house I used to walk Ruby past... I was sure it was related to me. Later, Oh God In Heaven, given power over people who I did not know about, nor would I have presumed to know what they should do....
How many led astray... how many in so many sectors of society, at one point or another... by words I did not mean were scripture, and with a lot of thought might refute myself. Others were outright absurd. That my work caused such suffering, you thought should make me stop writing. I think back ten years and remember you asking, What is a writer's responsibility for the people who get killed by his writing. I cannot remember my reply, but I had no intention of thinking that because my work had been used by groups, some I do not have a clue about. All other than one cliche which seems practiced, and I am never going to tolerate my mission in this life with such behavior. The past is the past, and I remain the Christian Redeemer to the end... though I will always throw what force I have at such activities, to try to stop them.
But I must transcend what beliefs you hold, and work with everyone, to get peace. Not that I am the expert on when to apply force. God alone decides such matters in my physical form. I cannot imagine such a creature in my normal mind-set. A painful memory, like my past has always seemed, when I saw only my faults. And then getting off booze made that a focus for twenty years.. aa meetings explaining the worst of me.... and now so much worse. I have to find common ground with racists, and as a white guy I grew up with none of that around, or if they were, we discussed other things and it never came up. I guess this was the case with many, since 65 fucking percent of white people back trump. What the hell has happened to white people to make them this immoral. This anti-working class. This hateful toward other citizens in what is supposed to be a free society; going after gay people, women, anyone who is not a white male.
The Mexicans who were once trying to work with me when I was being totally misunderstood, and had no idea what the fuck was going on. I made a statement that gave too much power to a subset of society, without meaning to... I meant to help.
I do not let the past destroy my dedication to the human rights that all deserve, whether they be gay, black, yellow, white, brown... trans, the undocumented, etc. I have never faked a cause that I support. I may not have gotten across my original In general, some were a mania of a moment, or misunderstood by me. But I am very liberal about such matters and nothing will ever change these things, or has. Words taken out of context. I cannot imagine what they put you through, those of you in the cult, though now where once anger filled me I am consumed with mourning, sorrow. I cannot imagine what you went through at all. I would not punish myself by trying now. Once I wondered what you saw when you looked through your television and saw Jesus, wanted to know how that felt. I had no idea of the horrors hidden there.
My sorrow for those who were led to believe my comedy stories were scripture. I would never have wanted what those using you made you do. That this ended only in a scandal when I tried to talk to the spies watching me, here is what I think of your surveillance than... debased myself before the nation, children, all these people you kept from me. The machine was about to swallow me up, and make me like them... God did not allow this.
The temptation I was delivered from allowed me to find out what was going on in this Nation. I hate remembering this -- as I write this I this I think, how they love you feel pain.
Well, this sent me where God willed, and life sort of just went on for me, with the addition of this tv hell. I let them call me what they wanted. If they wanted to act Chinese, fine. Wonderful culture, much of who I am comes from the writings of their cultures. I feel the same aspiration to feed everyone first, etc... I also understand this is not what is wanted by the people in the USA, and the fighting this would lead to would be a slaughter. Political movement to the left is the peaceful method, the best. The only one I would sanction.
2020 vision. Worthless except as context.
I would not deign to give orders to anyone.... though I feel at this point, that I am in a spiritual way beyond politics, and focused on the souls. This is end of the flesh that has held souls, and freeing them... on one level of belief. Fantasy, dream, whatever gets me up and out of this fox hole, back into battle.
What will happen when we die. What visions I saw of this when fasting. They linger still close enough I see the tunnel I seemed to already be flying through, my mind feeling the images like watching a film of being a passenger on a roller coaster. It happens now, after smoking weed. I see myself as formless shapeless consciousness, flying fast through swirls ot tunnel, and quick curve on tight corners going toward a light too bright to look into... I will not pretend to see anything more. Vague. I have only a human brain to try to imagine God. I do not have the ego to pretend I understand God. I have seen the works of God, and they are a mystery to me.
I know many of you feel I betrayed you. But I was never a spy. I was in the middle of these battles, finding enemies all over, searching for the ones who had done these acts. I wanted Justice for those who were harmed. I wanted known I had not part and never would have, that I was not some leader of this, but you listened some. I thank you for this. I regret these deaths as I do the women, in the beginning, who were caught up in a cult movement... centered on me, that I would not want. Left over after the Industrialists attempt to take over. I was not told enough to stop these things. I would NEVER have allowed my influence to serve the master of manna. I like money, like everyone else. Buys things, in a world where you need and want things. My ego liked the idea of fame once, in the beginning of this. I thought things would be peaceful, though no, I was driven mad with drugs and brain rape, then thrown off a cliff, expected to fly... and I did. Right down into a battle, where I was handed a sword too heavy for anyone to swing... and I swung it.
I am the one beyond co incidence. I am a savior on this dying planet. If my seed can do what I can do with the weather, than whoever is holding me is breaking a very basic rule of Humanity, a Crime. I would have never put up with letting this happen to another person if I was out in yours, but I am a fearless warrior who wins without ever owning a gun. Powers from a creature I cannot begin to understand comes thru me in battle. I watch what is attacking me and you all seem to come together and fight this, when warranted. I would expect people inside and outside the cult to be having a hard time dealing with this, but in your world, maybe not. Some of you I have seen say the most psychotic sentences in the world with a smile on your face on my television. I guess this is your normal. I guess they must be said, and for reasons I suspect the church may have something to do with, though I could be wrong. I take no offense because I do not know their reasoning, so who am I to judge. I can deal with my life. It is bearable. I can indeed deal with a lot of lives, and what is going on in this world. I will watch and feel the horrors because that is the least I can fucking do, and I tried Robin Hood, and that sure as hell was just another game you played with me.
I guess. I will end this with once again saying hate me if you have to. Though we have worked together for a long time, and I would like to continue my relationship with the far left, because this is my moral stance. I will continue this whether they do or not, as my behavior has proven even in the midst of crises. I have explained the mania of battle, and my rage at being told I was leading people who used child soldiers, etc... and I leave a lot out that I do not put in because they seem like they should be classified. To me that means just not bringing them back up. I do not know what people saw of my life and what they did not. You make it out like they can all see, but you have asked me to keep secrets before, and I did.
I said something about yellow and suddenly I see the color around. And a new movie, with an actor they used for me before, in yellow, The Fall Guy, about a guy takes falls in movies. Now, my initial reaction is not always right, and on some topics for quite awhile I am going to have to control my anger before I can make any kind of rational statement that is true to what I conclude upon inspection. I have been set up as a fall guy over and over. I am tired of that. A fall guy for Industrialists and criminals who tried operation bluebeam and raped my mind, creating a religious zealot out of an open minded, liberal, feminist man, who did not believe in any universal truths beyond the basic ones our DNA supplied. They were enough for me. I treated others how I wished to be treated, best I could.
I told you over and over I would have been one of the people trying to fight me, were I one of many people who you tried to make me out to be as the fall guy... the Joker was particularly effective at setting me off, and fighting that image. I thank those involved for some of your hate. I do not know how much was racist, that fluctuated from time to time. Stand up for minorities, let them lead, they know their problems, so I learn instead of lecture. I learned from teenagers being pulled out of my cab and frisked, when I had an ounce of weed in my glove box. Normal, good kids, lived at the now gone Cabrini Green Project. And so many other places. You came to this person and tried to convince me I would 'choose my own kind' in your race war, when I had already chosen my own kind, humans.
I love white people. Some. I have seen their faults as well at times. I was always a bit puzzled by people who were not liberals, and did not want to take care of everyone in society. I developed a hatred for the rich as a very young child, grew up as the rich as the evil ones, the poor and working class the good. Workers against Employers, as so many industrialists forced to happen. Others were cool. But not in groups. Just this week in Chicago the Mayor tried to cure homelessness, and the Realtors went out and pretended that a few thousand more dollars on the purchase of a million dollar home would raise rents all over the city. What a bunch of shit. Cure homelessness and people will pay five bucks more a month, but they use their millions to crush the issue. Our mayor is putting it back on the ballot and will get this through this time. He lost the narrative, or never had one that got across. Either way, this is huge.
I guess I am being attacked now by the same subset of white power people, who couple with very white looking Mexicans, and had me on their side before I knew there was a side, let alone we were working together. Let alone you thought I was doing porno. That is so far from the depressed, stressed as hell, not knowing how to continue person I was. When I was asked why I put the dresser in front of the tv, when there was no room in that fucking apartment for it anywhere else and I did not want you watching me and had no idea why... that kind of shit has never been my way. I hated being sold as flesh. Objectified into a creep. A pathetic has been, hated half the time by the tv...
Then once I was told this car crash happened, and thinking it meant I did something wrong. A train was to take off and didnt. I wanted to be free, but I had no clue. When I realized..... I was too confused to act properly. I was trying to please you, fight with you, but I had no idea why... but mostly I was lost. A dream of being Christ on certain drugs. I did not care how I looked unless I was going out, like most people. Part of the battle was to keep my life as mine as possible, and ignore you. I wanted you to see you could not make me do whatever it is you wanted.
All through this things were going on around me I would have stopped. I would have proposed a peace. Many of you will not take this. In the past, I thought, then they I must fight. Now, I feel again, if Trump gets near the white house, that we will have to fight to keep anything resembling a Democracy. Though another part of me goes, do they really have any power up there.... do the other groups control all of these things, and where am I now in this hierarchy of power. I cannot serve two masters. You might have noticed this. The problem becomes when you serve humans while serving God. I have ended up an indentured servant. Or a hostage. Or in jail. Or the crowds would be too huge if I went anywhere. I certainly do not want to address huge crowds, or even small ones. Thru the tv is quite too much already.
There is no will I fight, the question is can I fight... what kind of resources are available, and was my original plan taken into consideration. Have the armed forces even considered how far astray YOU WERE led by the people behind trump.... you should know they are a clear and present danger, because I had no clue that was happening and NEVER would have presumed to know more than the military, especially during this time. God, when this was put to me, in the darkest ways possible, I believe I was shot at the end. Like in that other movie, by Idris Alba, for God's Sake...a guy I always liked, and felt for when he did not get bond because he is black... even though they handed 007 off to a black woman in the last film. Then later I realized what they must have been thinking at the time.... which proved to be wrong, I pray by now.
I will not do or support any spies in organizations I work for, if I can help it. They may be around but I am not a traitor, and this needs to be made clear. I have been your victim for perhaps my entire life, used by cruel people, to do cruel things. Used by people caught up in the madness of the mob, or a cult, or whatever... and still I feel I am being used.
What the hell am I supposed to do here, people.... I will just continue on.... but my ignorance may be more dangerous to you than you think. I proposed a possibility, sending the seed of weather people around the globe. Too dangerous. Get in the wrong hands. Or I am in an elaborate mind game where I cannot control the weather, or I can and those in power are afraid of this. I don't care about any mystical powers I have. They happen in small ways all the time. Or they don't. Makes no difference to me what they are because usually when I use them I do not mean to. Other times, with weather, it was easy and precise to do one small thing, keep snow away from Chicago. I went from no more than four. Last year. Then three this year. Though it was rather effortless this year, with the global warming winter that never was.
I am sure you will let me know thru the squawk box what you are thinking now, whether I understand it or not is another matter.
I was thinking earlier that should you send an assassin, would I merely turn the other cheek. Would I get to die, finally... or would my God bring out the one you have not seen. I have not even attempted to use my powers to harm you and pray I never will, though such things are out of my hands... because they are the powers of God, not me. I hate the macho talk now of oh I will fight back with this and that... though I may be able to defeat your armies all on my own, the idea is absurd. I would never do this except if cornered and protecting people. Even then, I can be crucified, so God only knows.... though I hardly plan on that happening, and will never take my own life. I have been thru too much now.
I wish to be able to sit at a table with racists, zionists, Nazi's, Communists and Socialists and neo liberals and MAGAs and try to work things out with words. I said the other day that I did not even care what color you made me, as long as I knew no minority was going to targeted by that group, and the force produced was good for the working class. This is a total clarification. We want peace, we need to find a way to achieve it, even rival Biker gangs have more in common than they want to admit, I imagine... could be wrong. No expert. But this is possible, and required if we are going to tackle the problems coming at us from the future.
While people are shadow boxing with themselves, preparing for some damn revolution that is backed by billionaires in the shadows of their Mansions, instead of producing force that will be to the advantage of the economic sectors of our society that will be hit worst. This is where I wish to get to. I hope the clergy, and the kindness extended by the Catholic Church will work with others, to be a basis of stability in the chaos. Other churches as well, whatever region. All are Gods children, no matter what they call themselves, look like, come from, or did. Human rights are universal.... says the slave in Chicago.
Now I have it in some weird way.
...
I thought, who had seen me in the bathroom, filmed me making love, etc.. and I was like, then leave me the hell alone. I cannot believe I did this. Totally unlike me. Though without this bloody cross...
